Gifts of a trail: Giving Back & Not Quitting

The 2026 Colorado Trail Race Grand Depart is Sunday 4am in Waterton Canyon

Heading my favorite direction, southbound!

Leaving Waterton Canyon in 2024

I’ve already dropped out. 

What’s up with the Fox?

For the past 10 months I’ve been dealing with significant GI distress.  This most likely started from a pathogen I picked up on the Colorado Trail last year (my water filter quit working so I replaced it mid-race), or another bikepacking race I did back-to-back-to-back, resulting in a painful auto-immune response destroying gut.  My symptoms have NOT been backcountry friendly, leaving me malnourished & dehydrated. 

I’ve gone through months of tests without conclusive diagnosis, but with anti-inflammatory medication and a healthy dose of prebiotics my symptoms have improved.  I’ve heard many times about the connection between gut health and mental health, and with this experience it’s become undeniably real. 

Dangly bits on a water filter? hmmmm…

Gifts of a Trail…

CTR was my first real bikepacking race in 2024.  With 540 miles traipsing across the Rocky Mountain skyline, many high high above treeline, I was legitimately scared about the conditions and landscape I’d need to safely navigate, particularly when coming from the relatively soft hills of Wisconsin. 

My goal was hell-bent but simple; ride my bike from Denver to Durango.  I had  dreams of a sub-week time, but that didn’t mean anything the moment I left Waterton Canyon. 

 I made new friends, and learned new skills.  Not having bikepack racing experience, I made mistakes fast & honed my kit as I went.  I ran out of food three times, significantly underestimating the calories I would need to keep moving (7500/day was NOT enough).  Much of my gear was old, and what wasn’t old was borrowed.  I had moments where I broke down from exhaustion, including crawling into South Fooses Creek  to cool down, and others where I could not believe the high life I was living. 

The last 30 hours from Silverton were one big push, leapfrogging Chris until his light quit.  Together we navigated the scree fields of Indian Trail Ridge and descended Kennebec under light of a full moon, something so powerful it could only have been a gift from something bigger.  The San Juans filled my soul with so much life, but also had me feeling like part of me will never leave those mountains. 

I returned in 2025 for a very different experience.  While the race swaps directions every other year, with 2025 being northbound, much of the energy I had in 2024 was just not there.  Embark experienced major production setbacks (no product = no sales) and the opportunities we once saw on the sunny horizon were most optimistically hiding behind dark clouds.  I struggled to lead with joy in the first half of the race.  It was still there, but I had to focus every ounce of good energy I had not to doom spiral. 

I was challenged by the trail , the relentless landscape to just keep moving forward.  Admittedly I did not do this alone.   The moments I shared riding with others brought that spark back. 

A turning point was setting off into a Sargents Mesa sunset with Susie, haunted by a smokey blood red moon.  We howled our way across the haunted Cochetopa Hills that night, keeping the hallucinated shadow snakes safely at a distance. 

Marshall Pass was reached the next day, and descending Fooses Creek felt like a a needed transition into a different race.  I was finally able to acknowledge I enjoyed the experience I was having. 

Giving Back

I will not participate in the Colorado Trail Race this year.  I will not be part of the shared experience of 74 other riders making their way from Denver to Durango, and this worries me.  The past couple years have been an incredible struggle for our small farm & business, and my journey along this trail has energized me to keep moving forward even when I’m not on it. 

I can’t stay away from this trail, and the people who embark on a journey across it.  So I’m doing something different.  Shortly after dropping out of the race, I volunteered for a 5 day remote trail building crew with the Colorado Trail Foundation, giving back to the trail that had given me so much. 

Federal funding for trail work has been significantly cut, so the trail relies on volunteers to maintain its existence.  I'm drawn to people coming together do hard things.  My health is improving, but I’m no where near race-shape, and this could also be a gift.  I don’t know what I’m going to take away from this experience, but the opportunity to give back to something that has been so profoundly positive already has me feeling at peace with whatever happens further down the trail.